Don't Quote Me On This.......
Note:
Let’s play a little game, shall we? How many of the quotes below can you
connect to their correct movie and, if missing, the character and actor without
looking at the footnote? No fair looking ‘em up online either.
©2013 by LeeZard
Who doesn’t like movie quotes? In fact, many of
us (myself included) use every chance we get to work our favorite quotes into
our lives. Who wouldn’t love the chance to look at a lover who has spurned us
and say, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give
a damn.”[1]?
But, we must be careful because, like the game
of “Telephone,” as the quotes move down the line they change.”
“Play it again, Sam!”[2]
Nope, Rick (Bogie) never said it. Even so, most people use the incorrect
version. What he really said was, “You played it
for her, you can play it for me. If she can stand it, I can. Play it!” You can see why the misquote fell into the
lexicon instead of the original, it’s a helluva lot punchier.
Here’s a more difficult one, “Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.”
Close, but no ride. What she really said was, “Fasten your seat belts, it’s
going to be a bumpy night.”[3] BIG difference!
Okay, just a few more, then I want
to get into MY favorite quotes. I won’t challenge you on them; some are quite
obscure.
“I’m out of order? You’re out of
order! This whole courtroom’s out of order!”
Actually, that quote is out of
order. In this dramatic scene, he actually said, You’re out of order! You’re
out of order! The whole trial is out of order! They’re out of order!”[4]
“You Dirty Rat.” Yeah, everyone knows Jimmy
Cagney said that. Everyone would be
wrong. The closest he ever came to it was, “Mmm,
that dirty, double-crossin’ rat”[5]
Okay, last one, “Me Tarzan, you Jane.” Me say you wrong. Actually, it was more complicated than that:
Jane: (pointing to herself) “Jane.”
Tarzan: (he points at her) “Jane.”
Jane: “And you? (she points at him) You?”
Tarzan: (stabbing himself proudly in the
chest) “Tarzan, Tarzan.”
Jane: (emphasizing his correct response)
“Tarzan.’
Tarzan: (poking
back and forth each time) ‘Jane. Tarzan. Jane. Tarzan…”[6]
---
“Merman!
Mermannn!”
Zoolander (2001) is one
of my favorite and most quotable films, even though it is, admittedly,
over-silly at times. It's a cult classic and, you either love it or hate it. It is a total send-up on the rag business (clothing industry) and
the whacko world of fashion models. Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller – you either love him or hate him) is a top male model with the brain of a pea, the
awareness of a slug and an ego as big as the ocean. You can’t help but love
him.
Some Zoolander quotes I’ve actually used:
- · “It’s a walk-off,” when Derek challenges his rival Hansel (Owen Wilson) to an impromptu runway competition, a model’s game of H O R S E, held in a warehouse. David Bowie is the judge as each model does a move and the other must match it perfectly. It is a hilarious scene.
- · Derek: “I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.”
- · “Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty,” from the Derek commercial where he swims as the MERMAN.
- · “I'm not an ambi-turner.” Derek explaining why he can’t do a left turn on the runway.
- · “I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories,” Derek’s agent Maury Ballstein (Stiller’s father Jerry)
Then, there’s one exchange I’ve never used –
because I couldn’t get through it without cracking up. It’s between Derek and
his soon-to-be love interest Matilda, (Ben Stiller’s wife, Christine Taylor):
Derek: “Are you here to tell me what a bad
eugoogoolizer I am?”
Matilda: "A what?"
Derek: “A eugoogoolizer... one who speaks at funerals.”
[Matilda looks at Derek confused]
Derek: “Or did you think I was too stupid to
know what a eugoogooly was?”
---
The
Great Escape (1963) is certainly in my all-time top five favorite movies. It’s
a great (true) story with a great cast (including two of my all time faves, the
ever-cool Steve McQueen and the charming rascal, Jim Garner), a stirring
soundtrack and the best motorcycle chase ever (McQueen, of course). The amazing
cast also included the likes of Richard Attenborough, Donald Pleasance
(“Splendid”) and David McCallum.
It was in this film that I learned to
love in Russian. The scene has two POWs trying to escape the German camp by
slipping into a line of Russian slave workers:
Sedgwick (James Coburn): Danny, do you speak Russian?
Danny (Charles Bronson): A little, but only one sentence.
Sedgwick: Well, let me have it, mate.
Danny: Ya vas lyublyu.
Sedgwick: Ya ya vas...
Danny: Lyublyu.
Sedgwick: Lyubliu? Ya vas lyubliu. Ya vas lyublyu. What's it
mean?
Danny: I love you.
Sedgwick: Love you. What bloody good is that?
Danny: I don't know, I wasn't going to use it myself.
---
Who can ever forget Dustin Hoffman going drag as Tootsie (1982)? My favorite quote, though, comes from co-star Teri Garr as Sandy, “I'm going to feel this way until I don't feel this way anymore.”
And, talk about an amazing cast! Aside from Hoffman and Garr,
Tootsie’s cast included:
- · Jessica Lange
- · Dabney Coleman
- · Charles Durning
- · Bill Murray
- · Sydney Pollack
- · Geena Davis
- · Amy Lawrence
- · And, cameos by Gene Shalit and Andy Warhol.
Finally,
there’s my drop dead favorite movie. Billy Wilder’s Some Like it Hot (1959) tops
many lists as the best comedy of all time. No argument here. Marilyn Monroe,
Tony Curtis and Jack Lemon light it up as Tony and Jack, in drag, hide in
Monroe’s all-girl band after witnessing the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre in
Chicago.
The supporting
cast ain’t bad, either with George Raft, Joe E. Brown, Pat O’Brien, Nehemiah
Persoff, and Big Mike Mazurki.
MM as the
vulnerable Sugar Kane Kowalczyk (there’s a bit of movie trivia for ya!) gets my favorite line,
“That’s the story of my life. I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop.” But that's not in my favorite scene.
The first time I saw Some Like it Hot (I was
12) I laughed out loud all the way through. But what threw me into hysterics
was that final scene where Osgood, the elder sugar-daddy millionaire who’s in
love with “Geraldine,” speeds in the launch toward his yacht with his “bride-to-be:”
Jerry (Jack Lemon): Oh no you don't! Osgood, I'm gonna level
with you. We can't get married at all.
Osgood (Joe E. Brown): Why not?
Jerry: Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde.
Osgood: Doesn't matter.
Jerry: I smoke! I smoke all the time!
Osgood: I don't care.
Jerry: Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've
been living with a saxophone player.
Osgood: I forgive you.
Jerry: [tragically] I can never have children!
Osgood: We can adopt some.
Jerry: But you don't understand, Osgood! Ohh...
[Jerry finally gives up and pulls off his
wig]
Jerry: [normal voice] I'm a man!
Osgood: [shrugs] Well, nobody's perfect!
[Jerry looks on
with disbelief as Osgood continues smiling with indifference. Fade out]
T h e E n d
[1] Gone With the Wind
(1939- duh!)
[2] Casablanca (duh.2! 1942)
[3] All About Eve, Bette
Davis as Margo (1950)
[4] And Justice For All, Al
Pacino as attorney Arthur Kirkland (1979)
[5] Blonde Crazy (1931) –
Cagney plays Bert Harris, a hotel bellboy who cons customers out of their
money.
[6] Tarzan, The Ape Man
(1932), Johnny Weismuller and Maureen O’Sullivan.
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