Wednesday, March 12, 2008

What’s a Nice Jewish Boy.......

©2008 by Leezard

.......Doing in a mess like this? Moreover, what’s a nice Jewish governor doing in a high priced brothel? More moreover, what the hell kind of sex is worth more than $4,000? Didn’t Governor Spitzer ever listen to the Beatles (“Money Can’t Buy Me Love…….” Dumdeedumdee DUMB!!!)?

Eliot, Eliot, what the hell were you thinking? Were you thinking, “It’s okay; Thomas Jefferson was shtooping his slaves?” Or, “It’s okay, JFK did Marilyn Monroe?” Or, “It’s okay, Bill Clinton got away with ‘I did not have sex with that woman (Thereby causing a huge national debate over what is and what isn’t SEX)?’”

As Bill Clinton learned the hard way (Ouch, no pun intended. Okay, pun intended), these are different times. In Thomas Jefferson’s day, everyone was shtooping their slaves. In JFK’s day, the adoring media protected Sir Camelot. Today, any politician is meat for the media machine and, I think, justifiably so.

Here’s a guy who was “Mr. Clean,” the hard-assed prosecutor who built his reputation on the legal carcasses of labor racketeers and, irony of ironies, prostitution rings. ( Eliot, Eliot!!!???) In these media intense times,
didn’t he think that someone
would either leak (ouch again) his involvement or that some enterprising journalist would come upon (double ouch!!) the story?

I’ve never thought that prostitution should be illegal but that’s another post. If Eliot Spitzer is guilty of anything, it’s terminal stupidity. He went – in a New York minute – from respected governor of a big blue state to stand-up fodder. I suppose I should thank him for giving me something that is such an easy target or, I suppose I should just feel sorry for him. I can do neither. I can only sit here and shake my head and think, “Eliot, ELIOT, where did you buy that idiot pill? I sure hope you didn't pay $4,000 for it.

Finally, with thanks to my friend Mary in New York, I close with Mrs. Spitzer’s published daily schedule yesterday.

6AM Get up. Get Elliot off the couch.
6:30 AM Whup Elliot
7:00 AM Get kids off to school. Tell Elliot to fix his own damn breakfast.
7:30 AM Get dressed. Tell Elliott to find his own damn socks.
8:00 AM Whup Elliot
8:30 AM Call divorce attorneys
9:00 AM Call mom. Discuss ways to make Elliot miserable
10:00 AM Call mother in law. Agree with her that Eliot's a shmuck
11:00 AM Call rabbi. Agree with him that Elliot's a shmuck.
12:00 AM Get ready to go to press conference
1:00 PM Go to press conference
2:00 PM Stand next to shmuck at press conference
3:00 PM Meet with Attorneys
5:00 PM Help kids with homework. Tell Elliot to get lost.
6:00 PM Fix dinner for kids, not Elliot
7:00 PM Get kids ready for bed
8:00 PM Put kids in bed
8:30 PM Whup Elliot.
11:00 PM Go to bed. Alone.