LFS: The Storyteller

©2010 by LeeZard The rose that lives its little hour Is prized beyond the sculptured flower. - William Cullen Bryant This was a very good summer for LeeZard’s rose garden. Well, it’s not a garden per se; I have the bushes spread throughout our ¾-acre property. But we’ve enjoyed a bevy of big beautiful blooms (All the photos in this piece were taken by LeeZard). No mean feat; as many of you know, the fabled rose requires considerable care and feeding, especially in the damp Pacific Northwest. LeeZard is fascinated by the rose. I love the flower’s look and intoxicating scent. I am not alone. More than any other bloom, the rose has a unique place in our hearts and in history. Their lips were four red roses on a stalk. - William Shakespeare According to the University of Illinois Extension, roses have a long and colorful history. “They have been symbols of love, beauty, war, and politics. The rose is, according to fossil evidence, 35 million years old. In n...

Fox News - 8/2/2010 ©2010 by LeeZard LeeZard is troubled by the broohaha over the planned Islamic Community Center and Mosque near “Ground Zero” in New York City’s lower Manhattan. I am more than troubled; anything that breeds prejudice and hate (= ignorance) makes me sick. Rick Lazio, the Republican front-runner in the New York State gubernatorial race, calls the imam behind the center’s development a “terrorist sympathizer.” Sarah Palin Tweeted after President Obama expressed support for the development, “ Mr. President, why are they so set on marking an area w/ mosque steps from what you described, in agreement with many, as "hallowed ground”? (Grammatical error – question mark outside of quotes – is hers). Palin further mangles the language with this Tweet, “ "Ground Zero Mosque supporters: doesn't it stab you in the heart, as it does ours throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, pls refudiate." Arrrrghhhh!! Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA) j...

NOTE: LeeZard had the pleasure to help organize and put on a wonderful event to raise money for canine cancer research. If you are a dog lover (even if you are not), please go to:   http://www.goldenretrieverfoundation.org/index.html   and make a donation. Thanks!  This is the news release LeeZard sent out. LOCAL BREEDER FIRST IN COUNTRY TO RAISE MONEY FOR NATIONAL FOUNDATION  -  Auction Raises $9,800 for cancer Research (Maple Valley, WA) - It wasn’t exactly “Lassie Come Home.” It was more like a Golden Jubilee Saturday night as more than 70 people brought their dogs, most bred at Maple Valley’s SmokeTree Golden Retrievers, back to where it all began for a very special evening. Owned by David and Sally Maryatt and Randy and Julie Schepper, SmokeTree became the first breeder in the country to host an auction to benefit the National Golden Retriever Foundation (GRF). “We’ve always held an annual dinner party for our family of owners,” said Randy Sch...

©2010 by LeeZard Is digital communication destroying the art of good writing or, is it merely continuing the evolution of our language? It’s a question that’s been on my mind for a while. I’ve thought for a long time that it’s the former. All this abbreviating to save time (minutes!) and space for emailing, texting and chatting, I thought, eliminates the use of proper punctuation and spelling, not to mention creative word usage. That would be tragic to LeeZard, who cherishes good writing. I’m rethinking it, though. After all, how did we get from Old English, the written and spoken Anglo-Saxon language circa 1000 AD, to our modern version? One of the best examples of beautiful writing in Old English is the classic poem “Beowulf,” a portion of which appears here with a modern translation: Hwæt. We Gardena in geardagum, LO, praise of the prowess of people-kings þeodcyninga, þrym gefrunon,   of spear-armed Danes, in days long sped, hu ða æþelingas ellen fre...

Car Tales ©2010 by LeeZard Fans of LeeZard (Both of you) know well his love affair with The Blue Streak (sigh). Cars play a big part in our lives. We remember our first car, our first family car (infant seat won’t fit in a roadster, dammit) or our mid-life crisis car. I remember them all, from the lemons to the lemonade. I’m not quite a motorhead. Oh, I could change the oil but I choose not to. I remember my first best friend, Arnold Feldman. His dad owned a gas station (and bought Arnie a cream-colored 1960 Volvo for his 17 th birthday) and we used to help out on weekends. I tried working on the engines but hated the weird angles at which you had to twist your hands and wrists; hated the resultant scraped and bleeding knuckles. Nonetheless, I love anything on wheels or tracks and want to drive ‘em all. I read Motor Trend, Car & Driver, etc. to stay current on trends, styles, road tests and the like. As you all know, I dreamed of owning a Porsche since teenhood. Each...

©2010 by LeeZard I’ve always been fascinated by names – people’s names, locales, bands, dogs, cats; you name it (hahaha). Funny names, stupid names, cute names. A name tells you something more than well, the name. It’s generally believed the Chinese were the first to use surnames, some 3,000 years before the birth of Christ. Unlike most others, however, the Chinese surname goes first, not last. The early Romans used multiple names for a while then dropped the custom. During the early Middle Ages people were generally known by their given names. But, as more and more Johns and Williams roamed the countryside it probably got confusing so adding a second name became the popular means of sorting it all out. By the 12th Century it was unfashionable to not have a last name. Different things became last names: • Your profession – Mason, Miller, etc. • Your home town • Your father’s name – Leif Ericsson, for example. The early Israelites began naming their children Shmoil ben (son o...

NOTE: LeeZard rarely writes fiction and, he's never tried his hand at (writing) erotica. For some reason, though, the following story appeared in my head. Is it erotica? Is it soft porn? Is there a difference? Dictionary.com defines erotica: "literature or art dealing with sexual love." It defines pornography:  “obscene writings, drawings, photographs, or the like, especially those having little or no artistic merit.” The definition of soft porn is more involved:  “it is less  explicit  than  hardcore  material in depicting or describing  sexual behavior . Softcore does not depict explicit sexual contact, but ranges from simulated  intercourse  to nudity. While both softcore and hardcore feature sexual situations with the inten...