LFS: The Storyteller

NOTE: LeeZard rarely writes fiction and, he's never tried his hand at (writing) erotica. For some reason, though, the following story appeared in my head. Is it erotica? Is it soft porn? Is there a difference? Dictionary.com defines erotica: "literature or art dealing with sexual love." It defines pornography:  “obscene writings, drawings, photographs, or the like, especially those having little or no artistic merit.” The definition of soft porn is more involved:  “it is less  explicit  than  hardcore  material in depicting or describing  sexual behavior . Softcore does not depict explicit sexual contact, but ranges from simulated  intercourse  to nudity. While both softcore and hardcore feature sexual situations with the inten...

NOTE: Stew Ballinger recently left us at the age of 95. He was as unlikely a pioneer in progressive FM radio as you could imagine. Yet, in 1975, he gave a wandering band of broadcast gypsies the creative chance of a lifetime and KZAM was born. In honor of Stew, I am reprinting here an article I wrote in 2005 for the Seattle Times on the occasion of KZAM's 30th anniversary reunion. Thanks Stew and may you forever enjoy your role in that Great Musical in the Sky.  Alexander Stewart Ballinger Obituary: View Alexander Ballinger's Obituary by The Seattle Times ---   Friday, April 1, 2005   Radio Recalling the heady days of progressive station KZAM By LeeZard 
 Special to The Seattle Times With apologies to the Beatles, it was 30 years ago today Sgt. Pepper taught this particular band to play. On April Fools' Day 1975, a new radio station hit the airwaves with a wildly eclectic combination of music and news, turning Seattle on its ear. The call letters were KZAM (92.5...

Who Wants to be on a Quiz Show? © 2010 by Lee Frederick Somerstein “Honey, do you want to be a millionaire?” She asked. “A million isn’t what it used to be,” I reply, “but it’s a good start.” So, she sends me the link. Which is why my alarm went off at four this morning and at 5:30, with a quad shot of espresso in hand,  I am #123 in line to audition for the TV game show “Who Wants to be a Millionaire.” The popular show was holding auditions in Seattle today. The doors open at 6 AM and at 7 we go in to take two trivia tests, one for general knowledge and one for a special Netflix promotion on movies. We were lined up outside the Bell Harbor Conference Center on Seattle’s touristy waterfront. A huge – and I mean HUGE – ship was sitting at the adjacent cruise terminal dock. It was like standing next to a skyscraper, with level after level of stateroom terraces looking out over the several hundred hopeful millionaires-to-be. With at least 90-minutes to kill, I take...

©2010 by LeeZard When things get a little crazy, I go to the beach.  It usually calms me. Sometimes crazy follows me there.  Let's go to the beach! New Dawn of day To watch the sun, Rise out of the ocean, We awoke before dawn, And stumbled to the beach. We came with a bottle of wine, To toast the new day, A blanket to cover the sand, And a sleeping bag for warmth. We were four new friends, Ready to greet the morning. A gentle golden light, Creeps over the horizon, Darkness retreating in its path. The moon and morning star linger, To join us, To watch the sun, Rise out of the ocean. Our eyes focus east, As an orange pathway, leads to the sun. Bright light frames the clouds, As daytime, Moves closer to the beach. The ocean stirs, From its nighttime rest, As Sandpipers Begin to scurry about Little white, busy birds, Skittering one way then another. A lone seagull, Swoops down to the water, Seeking an early breakfast. It is peaceful, ...

Command Performance; Oily Edition © 2010 by LeeZard The phone rang the other morning and LeeZard was both shocked and elated to hear from a dear old friend. “There was an old blogger who lived on a lake, So busy he had no time to take. I waited and waited. My breath it was bated. So, I called to see if he’s awake.” “Mother Goose,” I almost shrieked, “it’s been too long. I’ve been meaning to call but I have been busy.” “I know and I forgive you, I do. “But things are getting so bad out there, I flew here on a wing and a prayer With the hope of writing a thing or two.” “In other words,” she concluded, “it’s the oily bird that’s getting screwed. Well, I couldn’t say no to my favorite guest columnist so, without further ado, take it away MG! --- Oil oil from state to state It’s turned the Gulf sticky. But I know BP will skate And that makes me feel icky. The oil companies stuck together, They thought any storm they could weather. But when BP’s well bled, It’s corporate pals f...

Speed! ©By LeeZard What’s the fastest you’ve ever driven? I’m not talking about all the racecar drivers out there (Dale!). I’m asking all of you everyday out-on-the-freeway motorists. For LeeZard, it was 140 scary, exhilarating MPH. Not bragging. It’s just a fact. Because scientists and sociologists study everything , of course there are studies on driving fast.  According to DrDriving.org: "Psychologists who study how we perceive things discovered a type of homeostatic process called level of adaptation. Take the case of speed. The brain records the sensations our body experiences and stores them along a continuum from smaller to greater. The range of speed that we're used to travelling creates a specific level of adaptation. This is the speed your body expects to feel in particular segments of roadways. These sensations are part of your road schema ("Schemas" are slogans or pictures we make-up in our mind about everyday situations as we experience them, ove...