Oldies for Oldies

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©2015 by LeeZard

An old high school pal recently re-posted on Facebook, “Some of the artists of the 60's (or their estates) are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers.” She proceeded to add a pretty funny list from the original post, along with a few of her own (and from other friends).

Let's give it a roll, shall we?

Here's my random list. Feel free to comment and add your own.
·       ABBA --- Aching Queen

·       Beatles --- I Don’t Feel Fine/I Saw Her Lying There/I Wanna Hold Your Gland/Yellow Hematoma

·       Johnny Nash --- I Can Cialis Now


·       Rolling Stones --- Let's Spend Social Security Together/Sympathy for the Surgeon

·       Bette Midler --- Wind Beneath My Jeans/I’m Wrinkled Dammit/Do You Wanna Limp
·       Mamas & Papas --- I Forgot Your Name

·       Queen --- Crazy Little Thing Called Arthritis

·       Three Dog Night --- Easy to be Sick/Doctor's Comin'
Billy Joel --- Making a Scene at an Italian Restaurant/A Matter of No Lust/River of Pee
·       Jackson Browne --- Takin' It Queazy

·       Bob Seger --- Night Chills/Against Passing Wind

·       Sonny and Cher --- Baby Please Don’t Go (To the Bathroom Again)

·       Crosby, Stills and Nash --- Move in With Your Children/Sweat for Judy Blue Eyes/Wooden Legs

·       Shirelles --- Will You Still Hear Me Tomorrow

·       Moody Blues --- Nights With No Statins/ I'm Just a Singer in the Coroner's Van

·       Smokey Robinson and The Miracles --- It Was Just My Indigestion/You Better Flop Around

·       Four Tops --- Can't Feed Myself

·       Creedence Clearwater Revival --- Bad Bile Rising/Limping out my Back Door
·       Bruce Springsteen --- Pink Cataracts/Cataract Ranch/Human Crutch/Raise Your Pants/Tenth Avenue Pharmacy/Throwin’ Up

·       Sam Cooke --- Pain Gang

·       Derek and the Dominos --- Fat Bottom Blues

·       Van Morrisson --- One Eyed Girl

·       Ricky Nelson --- Poor Little Stool Sample

·       Simon and Garfunkle --- Bridge Over Troubled Bladder/I am in Shock

·       Mason Williams --- Classic Gas

·       Danny and the Juniors --- Kidney Stones are Here to Stay

·       The Monkees --- Wrinkle Cream Believer

·       Elvis Presley --- Shake, Rattle and Crawl/Old Folks Hotel

·       Beach Boys --- Don't Hurry Baby/Let’s go Burping/Little Dark Poop

·       The Doors --- Fight My Piles/Roadhouse Restrooms

·       Ray Charles --- Here We Go Again, to the hospital

·       Dave "Baby" Cortez --- The Unhappy Organ

·       Harry Nillson - Jump Into the Pyre
  Bob Dylan --- Positively False Teeth/I Can’t Stand Maggie’s Farts No More
·       The late, great Tom Petty --- I Won't Black Out

·       Fats Domino --- I'm In Pain Again/Blueberry Pill

·       The Rascals --- I've Been Constipated Too Long

·       Ramsey Lewis Trio ---- The Old Crowd

·       Steven Stills --- Find the One You're With

·       Bobby Darin --- Under the Knife

·       Rod Stewart --- Maggie May Not /Every Scar Tells a Story

·       Chuck Berry --- Johnny Be Old

·       Jackson Browne --- Doctor My Eyes!!

Guess Who This Is
·       Warren Zevon --- Lawyers, Guns and Wheelchairs

·       Jerry Butler --- He Can’t See You

·       Jerry Lee Lewis --- Great Balls On Fire/Too Much Shakin’ Goin On

·       The Dovells --- You Can’t Sit Down; Your Piles are Killing You

·       Johnny Mathis --- It’s Not For Me to Decay

·       Mamas and Papas --- I Call Your Doctor

·       Pointer Sisters --- I’m So Bloated

·       Supremes --- Where Did Our Kids Go

·       Little Anthony and the Imperials --- Teeth on My Pillow

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