LFS: The Storyteller

--> ©2017 by Lee Frederick Somerstein (Author’s note: This is the last in my series, “Dancin’ With Mr. C,” at least for now. I hope this was as enlightening for you as it was for me. Do know that your Good Vibrations worked, I know they did!) Let’s get it out of the way, okay. I am officially a cancer survivor, at least for now. Pathology returned from my prostate surgery shows nothing escaped. “The best outcome possible!” exclaimed one doc. They’ll check my PSA number in three months. I am making no assumptions. We weren’t certain of anything at 7:30am April 25 th when Dr. Jeffery Ferguson moved swiftly across the dance floor. “Excuse me, may I cut in?” asked Dr. Ferguson as he tapped on Mr. C’s shoulder and grabbed him around the throat. Even while Mr. C did his best to keep me between he and the Doc, there was no getting away from the determined Surgeon. He went in there like a man on a mission. Even as Mr. C’s grip on me tightened, Dr. Ferguson thrashed awa...

©2017 by Lee Frederick Somerstein Am I crazy? I’m actually looking forward to April 25th, my prostate cancer surgery. Bring it! I’m in the best place I can be in a shitty situation. As far as we know the cancer is contained within the prostate and an earlier MRI shows nothing in the surrounding lymph nodes. They’ll check that under a microscope after they get that sucker out. But they have to get it out fast before it spreads and 4/25 is the soonest they can do it. I’ve reserved an extra room at the hospital for a prostate going away party. As you can tell, my energy and my attitude remain high and I am astounded by the wave of good vibes flowing in from all of you. My humblest thanks; you have no idea how powerful you are. Now, let’s move to the business at hand. ----- You’ve read in my earlier posts that I am eliminating whatever negativity remains in my life. Except for my closest friends/family, I've never written or spoken about the only major remaining source of ...

©2017 by Lee Frederick Somerstein (Author’s note: I hope you’ve noticed the changes – hard to miss. Yes, it’s aesthetic but it is so much more. The cancer diagnosis changes everything. My brain continues to download and digest my new facts of life. One of my major discoveries is that I’ve been hiding all my life, hiding behind booze and drugs, hiding behind nicknames like LeeZard, Lefty, Da Rev, Seaweed, Asshole and much worse. I’ve hid behind snappy patter, bad jokes, a wink and a nod, behind bravado and false confidence. Allow me to introduce the real me, Lee Frederick Somerstein. I hope you like the changes.) --------------- People often ask what I write about. Over the years the answer hasn’t changed. “Life.” I say. “It gives me a lot of LeeWay.” Writing about life also includes writing about death. That’s not what this blog is about. Nor is this blog about my cancer. Too depressing! This blog is about what I see, think, feel, touch, hear or smell going forward. It’s abou...

©2017 by LeeZard   “The biopsy shows moderate to seriously aggressive cancer on two sides of your prostate.” And so, last Thursday, my life changed forever. The surprise is, I’m not freaking. Those who know me well know how shocking that is. For those who don't, four words: New York, Jewish, Neurotic. The next surprise, especially to me,  is that I feel stronger and stronger each day. Not physically; I've lost 30-pounds. But I feel like my whole life has prepared me for whatever lies ahead. I’m ready. Bring it! I had a bone scan today. I'll meet with my urologist in six days. For now, you know as much as I do.  ------------ My brain has always worked at high speed, although my mouth often swings into action first. Over the last eight days, though, my brain is processing more slowly as more thoughts and feelings emerge. I’m actually enjoying this part. I am learning so much more about life. I’m learning so much more about me. No matter what happens, this b...

©2014 By LeeZard FLASH!!! In a recent interview with AARP Magazine , Bruce Springsteen revealed that he is reworking the lyrics of some of his classic songs to reflect his aging and that of his fans. LeeZard has gained exclusive access to these lyrics (and the cover art!) with no permission to publish brief snippets. Leezard has also learned the new songs will be released this summer on a new album entitled “Greetings From a Nursing Home in Asbury Park, New Jersey.” Here we go!   Cataract Ranch Cataract, cataract Blurry and dark, things are going black, Open up my eyes, trying to see more Oh my god they’re tearing, I feel like a dinosaur. Pee All Night When I lost my prostate honey sometimes I think I lost my guts too And I wish God would send me a libido, send me something I thought I’d never lose  Lying in the heat of the night like we never made love all our lives I get shivers down my spine and all I wanna do is keep myself dry....