The Car Horn

Do you remember when the car horn was a metal ring or half-ring inside the steering wheel of your dad’s car? If you do, you’re old like me.

My dad’s car horn was in a 1957 Dodge Custom Lancer with a gold and white paint job. There was no shift on the steering column or on the floor. The automatic transmission was a series of big buttons on the dashboard to the left of the steering column. I borrowed that car late one Saturday night in 1962 – all 15 years old of me – and taught myself to drive.

I was doing fine for about 20 minutes until I turned onto Elmont Road, just across the New York City line into Nassau County. After I made the legal right turn the light turned green and the next thing I see is a blue and orange Nassau County cop car right behind me. I panicked and with shaking hands immediately pulled over to park on the right. So did the cop.

Yup That's Me

 It was a costly misadventure. Besides the citation for driving without   a license, I had to lock up the Dodge and walk home, about a two- mile  trek. The old man swore I’d never get a license as long as I lived in his house and grounded me forever. I had to pay the $75 fine.

 I did learn a great lesson though: don’t get caught.

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 The metal car horn on the steering wheel died in the 1960s as federal safety regulations became stronger and more sweeping. Soon we were wearing seat belts, and these padded things on the front seat back protected our heads. Metal dashboards were covered in padded vinyl, as were the hard plastic steering wheels that were now on collapsible columns. Our beloved big chrome bumpers became boring, same-colored integrated things with springs on the inside. 

But even as the metal horn ring disappeared into that puffy airbag in the middle of the steering wheel, we’ve never lost our love for the car horn.

According to the Allstate Blog:

“Long before the days of interstates, backup cameras and drive-throughs, drivers made use of warning signals to alert other road users to their approach or possible danger. Early signaling options included bells, whistles and hand-squeezed horns, says Jalopnik. These simple sounds and motions were helpful to other vehicles, including horse-drawn carriages, and pedestrians as ‘horseless carriages’ started becoming more common on the roads.

The increasing speed of cars, however, eventually necessitated something a little louder than a simple bell.”

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First and foremost in today’s horniness is safety--the slamming of brakes and the long loud blare of the horn as that asshole runs the stop sign. Hopefully your warning HONNNKKK stopped her/him in time.

But today’s society demands so much more from our car horns, for example:

• Musical instrument - the tap, tap, honk, honk, tap, tap of the horn to the beat of your tunes blasting through the sound system.
• Communication device - HONNKK HONNKK “Hey! Across the street! Tondalaya! How the hell are ya?”
•  Lazy Boyfriend - Short honk, honk, honk, honk, “Yo, I’m at the curb, c’mon out.”
• Anger Management - Hey you #$#@*&, you just cut me off!!
• Discipline - After the fact, another loud long honk at the fool running the red light just to let him/her know they are running the red light.
• Honking at the potential road kill.

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What's Your favorite way to use your car horn?